Proven approaches for the tough conversations you've been putting off. Pick a framework and try it with our AI coach.
A four-step process for expressing yourself honestly while hearing others empathetically. Developed by Marshall Rosenberg.
"When I see the dishes left in the sink overnight (observation), I feel frustrated (feeling) because I need a clean shared space to feel at ease (need). Would you be willing to wash your dishes before bed? (request)"
A structured approach for delivering clear, specific feedback. Situation-Behavior-Impact keeps feedback objective and actionable.
"In yesterday's team meeting (situation), when you interrupted Sarah twice during her presentation (behavior), it made it harder for the team to follow her proposal and she seemed discouraged (impact)."
Kim Scott's framework: care personally while challenging directly. The sweet spot between being a pushover and being a jerk.
"Hey, I wanted to talk because I think you're capable of much more than what I saw in that presentation. The data was solid, but the narrative got lost in too many slides. Want to do a dry run together before the board meeting Friday? I think with a tighter story, you'll knock it out of the park."
A dialectical behavior therapy skill for asserting yourself effectively while maintaining relationships.
"I've been covering your Saturday shifts for three weeks (describe). I'm feeling burned out and need my weekends back (express). I'd like us to return to the original rotation starting next week (assert). That way we both get fair time off and I'll be more energized for our shared weekday shifts (reinforce)."
From Crucial Conversations — a framework for speaking up when stakes are high, opinions vary, and emotions run strong.
"I noticed the last three project deadlines slipped by a week each (share facts). I'm starting to wonder if our estimation process needs adjusting (tell story). What's your take on what's happening? (ask for path) I could be missing context here (talk tentatively) — I really want to hear if you see it differently (encourage testing)."
Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement — know your walk-away point to negotiate from a position of clarity.
"Before negotiating a raise, I identified that I have a competing offer at $120K (my BATNA). My company would need 6 months to replace me (their BATNA is weak). I opened at $135K, knowing I wouldn't accept less than $125K. I also proposed leading a new initiative — creating value for both sides."